Written by: Lena St. Pierre, Counselling Intern
Clinically reviewed by: Kim Kendall, RCC-ACS, BCRPT, SPT-S
How to Recognize Anxiety in Children: Signs, Symptoms, and When to Seek Help
Understanding Anxiety in Children
If you’re a parent wondering whether your child’s behaviour is a normal part of development or whether it could be a sign of anxiety, you’re not alone. Many families in Abbotsford, Chilliwack, and surrounding communities ask questions like, “Is this just a phase?”, “Are they simply shy?” or “Should I be concerned?”
The truth is that anxiety in children can look very different from anxiety in adults. Some children are able to talk about their worries, while others express anxiety through their behaviour, emotions, or physical symptoms. Understanding what anxiety is—and how it can show up in children—is the first step toward helping your child feel supported.
What Is Anxiety?
Anxiety is a normal response to stress or perceived danger. In many situations, anxiety is helpful and adaptive. For example, if you have an important project with an approaching deadline, feeling a little anxious can motivate you to complete your work.
However, anxiety becomes a concern when it is intense, persistent, or begins interfering with daily life. When anxiety affects a child’s well-being, relationships, sleep, school performance, or ability to enjoy everyday activities, it may indicate an anxiety disorder that should be assessed by a healthcare professional, such as a family physician or psychiatrist.
What Causes Anxiety in Children?
There is rarely one single cause of anxiety. Instead, anxiety often develops because of a combination of factors. Every child is unique, and what contributes to anxiety for one child may be different for another.
Some common factors that can contribute to anxiety in children include:
- A family history of anxiety or other mental health conditions.
- A naturally cautious or sensitive temperament.
- Major life changes such as moving, changing schools, parental separation, or the arrival of a new sibling.
- Difficult experiences such as bullying, conflict with peers, or the loss of a loved one.
- Stress related to school, friendships, extracurricular activities, or academic expectations.
- Experiencing or witnessing traumatic or frightening events.
While these factors may increase a child’s risk of developing anxiety, they do not necessarily mean that a child will experience an anxiety disorder. Every child responds differently to life’s
experiences.
What Does Anxiety Look Like in Children?
Because children often struggle to explain how they are feeling, anxiety frequently shows up through behaviours or physical complaints rather than words.
Some common signs and symptoms of anxiety in children include:
- Intense, excessive, or ongoing worry about everyday situations
- Losing confidence or having lower self-esteem
- Becoming withdrawn or avoiding situations that cause anxiety
- Frequently seeking reassurance
- Restlessness or pacing
- Fidgeting
- Freezing or becoming unusually quiet
- Biting nails or picking at their skin
- Becoming irritable, tearful, or clingy
- Difficulty falling asleep, waking during the night, bedwetting, or frequent nightmares
- Frequent stomach aches or headaches without a clear medical cause
Not every child will experience all of these symptoms. Some children may appear calm on the outside while experiencing significant anxiety internally.
Why Is Anxiety in Children Sometimes Missed?
One of the reasons anxiety in children can go unnoticed is because many symptoms resemble typical childhood behaviours.
Parents may assume their child is simply:
- Shy
- Sensitive
- Stubborn
- Going through a developmental stage
- Experiencing ” just a phase”
While these explanations may sometimes be accurate, persistent anxiety that affects your child’s daily life deserves attention. Early recognition and support can help prevent anxiety from becoming more overwhelming over time.
What Should I Do If I Think My Child Has Anxiety?
If you think your child may be experiencing anxiety, you’re not alone. Many parents notice several symptoms before deciding to seek support. A good first step is to speak with your family physician or another qualified healthcare professional about your concerns. Preparing for the appointment can be helpful. Consider making notes about:
- The symptoms you’ve noticed
- When the symptoms first began
- Situations or events that seem to trigger anxiety
- How anxiety is affecting school, friendships, or family life
- Any family history of anxiety or other mental health concerns
The more information you can provide, the easier it is for healthcare professionals to understand what your child is experiencing. If your child’s anxiety continues to affect their daily life after speaking with your physician, counselling can provide additional support. Many families in Abbotsford and Chilliwack find that working with a child counsellor helps children better understand their emotions, build confidence, and learn practical coping skills.
Supporting a Child with Anxiety
It is important to create a safe space where your child feels comfortable sharing their fears and worries. Knowing they are heard and supported can make a significant difference.
Parents can support their child by offering:
- Positive encouragement
- Validation of their thoughts and feelings
- Empathy and understanding
- Affection and reassurance
- There are also practical strategies that can help reduce anxiety, including.
- Practising mindfulness together
- Using slow, deep breathing exercises
- Playing games or engaging in enjoyable distraction activities
- Maintaining predictable routines
- Encouraging healthy sleep habits
For many children, play therapy can also be an effective way to process emotions and develop healthy coping skills in a way that feels natural and age-appropriate.
When Should You Consider Counselling?
If your child’s anxiety is interfering with school, friendships, family life, sleep, or daily activities, it may be time to seek professional support. A child counsellor can help children understand their feelings, develop healthy coping strategies, and build confidence in managing anxiety. Early intervention often helps children learn skills that support their emotional well-being for years to come.
If you’re looking for child anxiety counselling in Abbotsford or Chilliwack, working with a counsellor who understands child development and evidence-based approaches can help your child feel understood while learning practical tools to manage anxiety. Counselling also provides parents with guidance and strategies to support their child both during and between sessions.
Final Thoughts
Every child experiences worry from time to time, but persistent anxiety doesn’t have to become part of everyday life. Recognizing the signs early and providing support can make a meaningful difference in your child’s confidence, emotional well-being, and overall quality of life.
If you’re wondering whether your child’s worries may be more than typical childhood fears, speaking with a qualified mental health professional can help you better understand what they’re experiencing and determine the most appropriate next steps.
At Achieve Balance Counselling, we support children and families in Abbotsford and Chilliwack who are navigating anxiety and other emotional challenges. Our counsellors strive to create a safe, welcoming environment where children can express themselves, build resilience, and develop healthy coping strategies that support long- term emotional well-being.
To learn more about how play therapy can support children, read our blog, Play Therapy: A Great Way to Work with Child Clients or feel free to book an Intake Session with any of our counsellors.
Frequently Asked Questions About Anxiety in Children
What are the first signs of anxiety in children?
The early signs of anxiety in children can vary from one child to another. Some children become quieter and more withdrawn, while others may become irritable, clingy, or frequently seek reassurance. Physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach aches, difficulty sleeping, or nightmares can also be early indicators of anxiety.
How do I know if my child needs counselling for anxiety?
Consider seeking professional support if your child’s anxiety is persistent or is affecting their daily life. Signs that counselling may be helpful include avoiding school or social activities, excessive worrying, difficulty sleeping, frequent emotional outbursts, or anxiety that interferes with family life or friendships. Early support can help children develop healthy coping skills before anxiety becomes more overwhelming.
How can parents help a child with anxiety at home?
Parents can help by listening without judgment, validating their child’s feelings, maintaining consistent routines, encouraging healthy sleep habits, practising calming techniques such as deep breathing or mindfulness, and offering reassurance without dismissing their child’s concerns. When anxiety continues to interfere with everyday life, working with a child counsellor can provide additional support for both the child and the family.
References
Canadian Mental Health Association. (n.d.). Children, youth and anxiety. https://cmha.ca/brochure/children-youth-and-anxiety/
NHS. (n.d.). Anxiety in children. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/children-and-young-adults/advice-for-parents/anxiety-in-children/
BC Children’s Hospital Research Institute. (n.d.). Anxiety disorders in kids: What parents need to know. https://www.bcchr.ca/news-events/anxiety-disorders-in-kids-what-parents-need-to-know/
Mayo Clinic. (n.d.). Anxiety: Symptoms and causes. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anxiety/symptoms-causes/syc-20350961
About the Author
Lena St. Pierre is a Counselling Intern at Achieve Balance Counselling who is passionate about supporting children, youth, adults, couples, and families. She is completing her Master of Arts in Couple and Family Therapy at Trinity Western University and has a special interest in helping clients build resilience, strengthen relationships, and navigate life’s challenges with compassion and evidence-informed care.
This article was clinically reviewed for accuracy by Kim Kendall, RCC-ACS, BCRPT, SPT-S, Founder & Clinical Director of Achieve Balance Counselling.